The Tale of a Lawn

By definition a lawn is 'a piece of grass kept mown and smooth'. This isn't exactly the description that could apply to the grassy patches that are at the front and back of our home, and while I do not hanker after Wimbledon quality turf I would like there to be fewer weeds and much less moss. So now I am at home I have relieved Frank of the task of cutting the lawns and have taken their care upon myself.
A couple of birthdays ago, for a present I had a lawn spreader and two bags of lawn 'feed, weed and mosskill' granules. The opportunity to improve the quality of the grass was now at hand.
Having read the instructions carefully I made sure that when the granules were put into the spreader it was not standing on the grass. The spreader was standing on the patio and I decided it would be easier to fill with the granules if it was moved slightly. When it was moved there was a line of granules that had fallen through the holes at the base of the hopper. I checked that I had the spreader switched to the off position - just so. This should have rung alarm bells, but it didn't!
Having filled the spreader with the correct amount of granules I started to apply them, walking at the speed of one metre per second, as well as I could judge. I was careful to leave no gaps as I walked along , one spreader width at a time across the grass. The granules seemed to drop out at an uneven rate, but I thought that perhaps I was expecting too high a standard.
Half way through the job it decided to rain - not heavily - so I decided it best to finish what I had started. I moved to the edge of the grass nearest the patio and was about half way across when the bottom dropped out of the spreader, depositing the remaining granules in a heap and there seemed to be a lot of them - even though I had completed more than half of the area. Not to be deterred I turned the spreader upside down, refitted the spreader plate to the bottom of the hopper, and refilled it with the granules that were in a heap in one spot. They were not very co-operative clinging in their soggy state to the grass and it was obvious that this patch of lawn would definitely have no weeds or moss - or even grass - as the chemicals took effect.
Striding on, I had not got much further when the bottom dropped out of the spreader again - this time when I tried to fix it, the repair did not seem secure so I gave up using the spreader and gathering up the granules, now very soggy, I scattered them from a plastic trowel. I packed away the grass improvement pack and went inside the house.
The manufacturer had to be contacted and the inadequacies of the spreader communicated. I tried to find the company on line and decided to telephone about my experience. Having gone through a sequence of numbers to get through to the correct department I was directed to leave a message after the tone as all the helplines were busy, the assurance given that they would get back to me as soon as a helpline was available. After half an hour and no reply I decided to send an email. It was a long and detailed complaint and no sooner was the email sent than the phone rang. The telephone person was attentive and agreed that the spreader was faulty so he would post me some vouchers to buy a new spreader and some vouchers for grass seed to repair the dead patches that would undoubtedly result from the overdoses of lawn granules.
Within hours of applying the granules the lawn looks as though it has been a site of chemical warefare - it was much prettier when it was full of weeds and moss.
The job is not over. In about a fortnight's time the lawn will need to be raked to remove the dead moss. I shall continue to be busy in my quest to have a grassy lawn.


P.S. These are the last roses of summer - at least in my garden. And you might just spot fallen apples that keep the blackbirds fed and happy.